i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
When did angry sex become our thing?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
