New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
