with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
