I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
