He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
