Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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