Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
