Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
