I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
