Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
