There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
