How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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