the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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