doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Randomize
