Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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