I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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