I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
