I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize