question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Pants are for mortals
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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