I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
