cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
