pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
