i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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