4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
