Sponge bath it is.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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