what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
