Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
