Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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