ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
