Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
