Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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