Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
