Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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