The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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