its not stalking. its research.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
