New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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