Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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