the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
