i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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