we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
