Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
