grandma shit on top of the toilet
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
