Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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