In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I just found a bag of teeth...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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