Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
