Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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