Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
