stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
