took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We need a shit load of segways right now
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
