I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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